I tend to go for nerdy guys because they have no other competition and are desperate, I know I am a man because I think of them the same way straight guys think of Ramona flowers. However I don’t want to manipulate or change these nerd men unless they’re hateful in any sort of way. I think they should change that. I am truly a personality guy. I love nerds because they are always feeling and passionate, and pretty people never care.
I love how competitive they get too. I would love to go nerd for nerd with them but I never played dnd, I never made custom levels in geometry dash, I never made stop motion videos with stickbots, I never made flip note stick fights but MAN HOW I WANTED TO. My proud area was pencil and paper and that appeals to the mainstream. Even though someone wouldn’t know who I was drawing they would still go “woah, that’s really cool.” Those stickbot guys appealed to just their niche and that’s what I LOVED! They cared! They didn’t do something because they wanted everyone to love them, they did it because they and their little groups of friends thought it was cool. They cared. The only thing stoppping us from being friends was that we had nothing in common, but we were practically the same guy going through a different path.
To all the guys with jackets and hair in a way they do not like, to the guys who talk in a rather ‘intelligent’ manner, to the guys who believe they are ahead of their time, I knew you too well for someone I never spoke to. And I wanted you so bad, I wanted to walk your path and have your mannerisms and have your mind your personality your soul. We said the same thing, we just spoke a different language. I think about the guys like that who I knew in elementary school and how if I had been their friend I might have found out that I’m a guy much sooner, I would have not have been alone, I would have let all the things I was attached to go.
i need you wallace wells and i need you BAD! i want to love and date a guy that i can work for, someone that gives me a reason to strive and keep going just so i can see him and hear his charming voice and know that he loves hanging out with me, i want to be in the library rummaging through bookshelves and look at him woefully in his eyes as if i dont wanna grab the collar of his shirt and kiss him right there. no i should wish for more than jsut crumbs. I want to be able to love and kiss and hug and hold hands and play footsies under the table and feel the sparks with a man. i need to get rid of the fear of my parents findin out i have a partner. i cant hide them. i need to feel the warmth and the love and i need to feel it confidently. i need a man that has changed for the better and i also want to change myself. i need to get better!! i need to heal!!!! i need to move the hell on!!! i still get memories in my head about his love and i dont want to get high off of good memories with bad people. i need a man that thinks its cute when i gasp and squeal at his words, but he never makes me feel like i shouldnt be treated right. soft open mouth kisses and walks around the library, calls drowsy at night, taking the bus and feeling him hold my hand so nobody tries to have their way with me. i need that kind of young love scott pilgrim talks about. i hope those two edgars kissing on the top of the hill at a sunset have real authentic love, and i hope to be one of those guys at some point taking in the view and my partner's tongue after a long walk up. i need a man like that. i need a man that fights for my right ot be a man too. i never wanna be less than him or treated like im little. i need a guy my age that treats me really well. i know there are people that find me attractive, i know i can find somebody that would want to do things with me but i dont want to feel bad for a guy just because he's desperate and give him a chance just because i cant bare to see a poor man go without cooch for 3 years. i need a man that i can go to at the end of the day and he can just hold me close and he actually wants to know about my day, and he'll listen to me talk while kissing my hair. i'm starved for kisses. i'm starved for someone i can touch close, someone i can compete with and someone that plays with me without hurting me. each love is something i can learn from, and from my last the lesson was DO NOT IGNORE A LIE IF YOU THINK THAT ITS GOING TO CAUSE AN END TO THE RELATIONSHIP. If it ends it ends! it ws meant to! Don't drag it on more than it needs to! waaaaaaahhhhhh this is all over the place goodbye from Yearngust ;P