notebook

site created july 23, 2024
november 7, 2024
my head has been spinning ive been very staticy lately. hopefull i will get over it, i really want to spend all of fall break reasing part 2 on a car/train ride. when i do that i will be saved
november 6, 2024
guys the election happened... trump won :[ we're so cooked OUR COUNTRY IS GONNA GET STUPID!!!!!! we were able to survive him in 2016 because we had hit the quan & whip nae nae, hopefully we can distract ourselves with something else but man...
november 5, 2024
GUYS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS HAPPENED!!!! ITS NOVEMBER!!!! ITS GETTING COLDER FINALLY HOW I LOVE YOU FALL!!!!!! ive felt so much happier and ive been waking up earlier and sleeping better, i think that the transition from summer to fall is my favorite time of the year :)
all i need is my boy, mangangelo, and a tall glass of thai tea [fire emoji]
november 1, 2024
thinking about puppies are scared of other puppies [puppy emoji] I think Alex g makes music for dog people, dog boys
I like the tension thats created when two people say they hate each other, or when Im on the receiving end of hatred, but I love and love and love. there is one person whom I really dont really like, hes been an awful person towards pretty much everyone hes around yet I feel incredibly bad when I warn new people to stay away from him because I do it right in front of him. im romantic
october 25, 2024
been writing a modernity manifesto on a library recipt, i hope all modern cellphones explode so we can focus on our personal endevours without worrying about the instant reactions we recieve from strangers. i want to release my thoughts but not have that instant feeling. yes this website is on a public network but i'm pretty much the only person who checks it dailybecaue that guestboook is EMPTY!!! to whoever else may view this allow this to to be a small sliver of my manifesto. -august
october 22, 2024
been watching more gravity falls and i need to repost stanford more oughhh hes sor fine i love nerds who are so passionate about the things they love, my bf told me that i'm like those guys but i really want to just admire them :3
october 18, 2024
john & dean broke up, i got the third fish of the north star book, i started my period, i painted a pumpkin in the library and it finally feels like fall how are we doing gang
october 17, 2024
FAWWWKKKKK i didnt complete the three assignments that were due on monday and i didnt finish those 3 more yesterday how could i be so stupid. x(
I also drew kenshiro :p
october 15, 2024
they did it... instagram took down @nerdsrhot158. MY NERD ACCOUNT THAT I STARTED WHEN I WAS 14 WHERE I MADE SO MANY FRIENDS AND MEMORIES IS GONE FOREVER!! i made a new account obvi but now I cant make an alt without insta taking it down the MILISECOND i get comfortable. there are dudes posting shaft and hole on the gram and you're more concerned about my sfw yaoiposting, es em aych.
october 10, 2024
REST IN PEACE VALLEY OF THE GEEKS WEBSITEE!!!!! YOU WILL BE MISSED!!!
anyways uhh nobody buy that votg mug on ebay it's mine when i get my next paycheck (allowance)
october 9, 2024
idk if u wanna watch dan da dan, it sounded interesting and the theme was alright but i go on twitter and this account put the caption 'they didn't need ot go so hard with this animation' over an out of context r@pe scene and everyone in the replies is confused but op is all "hehe" AS IF THIS IS SOMETHING TO JOKE ABOUT! i don't want to put any negativity onto my haven site but man... i dont wanna watch that anime or use twitter for a bit
october 4, 2024
thinking about my dreams & what they could mean
october 3, 2024
happy national boyfriends day to mi novio who i am in yaois with hehe ^^ we are yamcha & tien and laios & kabru
I HAVE THE EVILEST PLAN EVER I FINALLY GOT ALL MY DUCKS IN A ROW I CAN MAKE THE JOSUKE WIG HEHEHEHE >>:D
september 30, 2024
I woke up with the worst headache and got caught sleeping in first period, everything felt better after imogen heap -W-
september 26, 2024
i need 2 use the word carnally more, "i need that man, carnally" definition: in or of the flesh; bodily; material or worldly, not spiritual.
september 25, 2024
this song is so gooooodddd im bucking my hips n shet @_@
september 24, 2024
i've been sooo tired as of lately and i went 2 bed earlier...
september 23, 2024
i no longer feel pressured to commit to my religion, yet I will continue to be a part of the Bahai Faith, im at bliss with myself. Im listening to iMogen Heap, and i don't feel manic or cuckoo anymore. also it's autumn!! it has gotten foggy and chilly it is beautiful :3 imogen heap 4 evr, i wasn't required 2 participate today in theatre so i walked out to the Stay only to find out it was closed every day except for saturday until 2pm... and so was the thrift store sob sob
september 18, 2024
hes literally me.... i should make a kinlist shrine
september 17, 2024
i've been really sluggish this morning, last night i felt more sad than usual so i sleepy messaged mi novio and started crying at the thought that i spent most of my evening on a call with chris lagging out on a yu gi oh episode instead of keeping my mom company, and my mom heard me and confortedme for the first honest time in a while. i had a glass of milk and told her how i felt like i'm probably lacking a vitamin or something, she said that my hormones r probably inbalanced. if so testeosterone better win i need a beard pronto.
september 16, 2024
my friend is gonna have no fucking idea what hit him
september 15
today was just as awesome as yesterday
september 14, 2024
birthday event.... but it was 4 weeks after my actual birthday hehehe. i had sm fun even if i was crazy anxious that my parents wouldn't approve of my friends but nobody had a problem with anybody! we went from shop to shop and it just happened 2 b vtuber day so it was a tad bit crowded but we managed to do our thing. we sat down at mr ramen and enjoyed our food as we had our own conversations and divided a 1.5 ltr calpico amongst us equally :9 john wouldnt stop saying yummers I HATE YOU HOMOLANDER!!! we opened a bunch of these toys and prizes after we ate, john got that evil baby from yu yu and i got avdol tongue emoji... when we crossed the street around like 8:30 johns COUSIN was at little tokyo as well with her friends and i told them they 8 as they were posing in front of this wall hehe. john started having withdrawls and fed his korean corn dog addiction but his food looked rlly good too so i cant blame him x9
september 13, 2024
happy friday the 13th!!! i think about this tweet of someone explaining the ending to the first kh game as the villan proving that a heart's true nature is to be evil and sora being a 14 year old nuh-uhs him so hard he explodes. and i think about how i used to bounce back like that but with pure joy in my heart, i hope i can do that again :o)
september 12, 2024
ooh boy what a dream I had, i woke up to carnel's text and smiled at my phone before going back to sleep. I hope I get a good grade for my doc martens project bc I only made one logo...
plans i have for this year:
rewatch tangled on dvd after never touching it since i was 8, make at least 3 jojos ocs after souxsie soix smooth operator and tainted love, burn that bridge when i get to it, feel better about myself when im vulnurable, learn 2 jacko pose, FINISH JOSUKE COSPLAY!! go to thrift stores and pick out more colors, i hope i find more variety of older brother fits its so there's more color but my heart stays the same, i've been weariing the same 5 black tshirts for the past 3 years... NEED 2 THRIFT
september 10, 2024
After reading through all of these senior letters from people that graduated already, I noticed most of these people had several typos and poor sentence structure in general. Did they even learn anything in highschool? But apart from that, they had a pattern of saying "Enjoy your high school years!" and "Live life to the fullest!" and "Do your work to get into college!" A lot of these bits of advice they were giving felt very run of the mill, like they were copying each other or they weren't putting their actual experiences into these letters, or if they even had any high school experience at all! Nothing really stood out to me besides one person who actually knew what she was doing and was giving advice that sounded like she actually meant it from the heart, instead of 'make the most of this year.' I extremely dislike hearing people say "There's not much time for you to be a teenager so enjoy it!" because you're adding more pressure as if their joy and youth is sand falling through an hourglass onto teenagers who are trying to fit in with their peers and pass all their classes and gain approval from their parents! Life doesn't end after high school and you don't shrivel up and die when you turn 30, you will most likely have more fun in your later years in life because you will have more money, more knowledge about the world around you and more freedom to be yourself. I have so much hope for future August, and I know I'm going to be a hot old man when I'm 54.
late at night
yk you slept well when everything you watch feels saturated and sends you in a dreamy haze, is there a word for something that feels like you shouldnt be experiencing it while you're concious?
september 9, 2024
THE POWER WENT OUT!!!!! i swear this heat is too much it started making me feel frustrated and then enraged and then depressed in the span of 25 minutes, i wonder if that's just an effect of being a teenager. anywho health class just ended, im gonna walk over to ralphs, get an arizona, and charge my phone at the library. see u soon B3
september 6, 2024
im so hype for halloween my grandpa bought all this lovely fabric for making that josuke costume... maybe ill use it to go to the con in november with chris, but it better start getting cold NOW!!! california has the hottest heat wave rn its absurd
september 2, 2024
i couldve sworn i had a dream where i looked back at my table and i had a solitare game going on and my notebook was open to the side of it, and right now im at my grandparents house, i look back at my table from breakfast and i have the solitare game and notebook set up exactly how my dream went! and i couldve sworn i had written it down in my dream diary!! im going mad i tell you i have too much deja vus…
august 30, 2024 9:33 am
I SAW THE TRAILER, IT JUST DROPPED, STRIVE IS FINALLY ON SWITCH or well, its releasing january 23 2025 BUT STILL GET HYPE GET NAKED!!!!! cannot wait to beg my parents for money and pray for this for christmas or something special in january... IM GONNA BE TOUCHING UP ANJI AND NAGORIYUKI AND SOL AND- [the sexual comments continue on]
august 29, 2024
i just listened to a new jeans song i think im gay
august 28, 2024
im so hype man i rlly wanna add a tanigaki shrine bc look at himmmm..... (i only said hype like that bc it sounds manly i cant WAIT to grow a beard brahh)
august 27, 2024
i watched the worthikids interview and found out damn.... my favs steal a LOT!!! like i see something rlly cool and i assume its original and the creator says cesare's design was based off this guy from an old movie and he looks EXACTLY like the guy!!! so how am i to know the line between inspiration and theft?
august 26, 2024
when i go to the club i wanna hear those club classics slash j i had an amazing dream last night BUT I FORGOT IT
august 25, 2024
its so hot every day... i cannot wait for it to strt getting chilly and for it to actually feel like fall because you cannot start selling pumpkin spice drinks when it's still 90 degrees out. -_- oh i also found a whole bunch of owl city hate stamps from 2010
august 24, 2024
i had a dream that i met an entire vintage convertible of evangelion cosplayers and they were so friendly and i said "God bless everybody in this car" and the whole day outside of the dream went by very fast, im gonna brush my teeth and go to bed, love you :>
august 22, 2024
im depecheing my mode right now (my graphic design teacher is playing never let me down by depeche mode) who up letting it linger...~ ;3 (guess what song is playing now)
august 21, 2024
It's my birthday!!! its also Faust's birthday and the birthday of my favorite buff sweaty homerotic military anime Golden Kamuy and konata's otaku dad's birthday and the main guy from system of a down's birthday... i am 413 this day goes down in all history i am the man to end all worlds i wanna look all rough with a 5 oclock shadow staring into the distance with a black cup of coffee when i say that ^__^ and two days ago it was josuke's birthday 4got to post about it SORRY i shoulda baked a cake but im gonna get an arizona when school ends bros i got $1.25 in my pocket i prepared for tax im gonna walk in sweaty and thirsty and walk out quenched and refreshed thinking about some guy at the back of the store- AHEM im glad you're having a good day as well :) I went to golden corral because it's also my abuela's birthday today and she chose where we go eat and I got more food than I normally do, "these ribs taste like the air outside my house!!" There was this rectangle heavy gift box that I thought was gonna be a ps5 but it turned out to b a sewing machine. O_O My tia and I were looking at fursuits on pinterest and I felt so relaxed because she kept going "aaaaaaaahhh!!! how cyuuutttteeeee!!" to eat one and i know now that i can be silly and make costumes around her, she was joking about wanting the Jolibee mascot to show up for her birthday party and I told her I could do it for her with my brand new sewing machine!! :3
august 14, 2024
hola im in 3rd period rn neocities is unblocked >>:]
august 13, 2024
today is the last day of summer, it will all be over very soon but i feel good knowing that im going to make everyone know im annoying again. i also started this summer very wonderfully with buying boys run the riot at barnes & noble & going to trader joes, and it ended with me going to trader joes
august 12, 2024
theo doesn't wanna b friends with me
august 9, 2024
school is gonna start on wednesday y tengo miedito, my brother is gonna b a freshman and i'm gonna have to make sure he doesn't get into trouble, i made school my cute little oasis where i could run away from my family's control of me so i hope he doesn't drag me into whatever he starts...
august 8, 2024
august 7, 2024
i went to get my school photos taken today! i waited in this long line stretching outside of the cafeteria for over two hours, and their machines broke so we couldn't immediatley get out ids!! i gave up my place in line to some other people before my friends showed up but we cut right after one of us said "everybody's doing it!" so i guess i wasn't very respectful and wise today. theo seems to bring out the best & worst in me, he's done good and bad for me, yet my mom won't let me invite him to my birthday party :c. oh well, anyway my mom wanted to go to the waterpark one last time before summer ends, we went with one of my brother's friends and everybody pulled me into the water even when i refused not to and i hate getting forced to endure somethign extreme all at once instead of slowly getting used to it. i dont care how much it builds character i have WAY TOO MUCH CHARACTER TO FIT INSIDE MY BODY. when i used the kempo practice to keep my center of gravity below me my mom got everyone to pull me into this water overhead thing, and i skinned both my knee and my ankle. they were bleeding out and wet but my mom insisted that i get into the dirty pool water that hundreds of kids have swam in because chlorine seems to kill every single kind of infection causing bug and she didn't want to waste the money she spent inviting me into the waterpark. i had a bad experience that i fought my hardest to win but it turned out as good as the situation could get without causing a scene.
oh yeah and i showed way too many people my website because this is the only thing i seem to work on now.
august 5, 2024
dude i think i might be polyamorous. it makes me want to throw up but i genuinely might be polyamorous i just love people so much and i never liked the idea of sticking to one person forever that scared me so bad i hate controlling relationships. and ive also never understood getting jealous if my partner would cheat on me or find another partner on the side. what matters to me is what makes my partner happy. I WANT TO SEE MY PARTNER BEING HAPPY EVEN IF THEY ARE NOT 100% STUCK TO ME!!!! i never understood why being a quote en quote cuckhold was so bad but saying that out loud makes me feel like im going to get into a lot of trouble. is it so wrong if everybody consents? no i dont want an excuse to cheat no i dont want to be unloyal because if i have multiple partners i will love them all to the highest i possibly can!!! you dont understand i dont have a fetish to be fucked by multiple people i want to romantically spend time with people and be sweet to them because no singular person could treat me exactly to my wishes, and i do not mind at all if my partners have other partners besides me because i know that i cant cater to all of their wishes either! maybe i am poly, but i shouldnt worry too much about this if im not with anybody in the first place. i think ill be content with being single for some time.
august 4, 2024
my dad called over my mom to look at this, "the taste of fish is the taste of love babe"
july 27, 2024
how long does something have to exist on the internet for it to receive a whole different meaning from its original? ive seen this image from a filthy frank video in 2018 and i cant imagine it being weird or embarrassing ever. this is hard asf i wanna dress as sasuke and pose with the hooters waitresses >_O

july 26, 2024
one of my favorite things to make at home is really concentrated coffee by adding two teaspoons of instant coffee, one teaspoon of sugar and a pinch of water in a plastic bottle, i then shake it up until it fully dizzolves and forms a foam. i pour this over a cup of ice with a ton of milk.
this drink looks girly as hell but it's strong, like me.
july 25, 2024
im doing really well today, i made cabbage pan for breakfast for my mom and I & we rlly liked it. :P We're going to go to the museum today I miss air-conditioning :c I'm gonna go make coffee and I hope you're having a lovely day as well :)
I went to the museum it was awesome they had a full exibit dedicated to keith haring, i visited my youth group's animators and we prayed & talked about charli xcx as we took a walk to go see this view with a beautiful sunset. i also noticed these two edgars, or i thought they were edgars at first lying on the grass cuddling up together and kissing and being all affectionate as they watched the sunset. seeing these teenage boys be so happy together almost brought me to tears. If these two guys my age living in long beach can experience teenage love possibly for the first time then so can i. I saw one of them leap for joy in a 'yahoo!' kind of manner after they parted and man, i hope they live happily bro.
july 24, 2024
im thinking of how we shouldn't worry about the future because it is always bound to happen, and what may seem to be far away is always going to come round and happen even if you think it wont, and we shouldn't worry about the past because we are wasting our presious time in the present about something that already happened. i say these things to prevent me from worrying because your life gets so much better again when you stop caring. cmon, lets go get root beer floats & style that wig on a discord call :,)
u cant see wuts below me >:]
sigh... i wanna wear a collar and eat reeses puffs out of a metal dog bowl and then a guy ruffles my hair & calls me a good boy...
july 24, 2024
july is almost over, i feel like i want to go somewhere where i can sip an icee or eat sea salt popsicles on the side of a clocktower. I hope that my friends want to hang out with me soon. rin and john aren't watching this but if they are u guys wanna go to an arcade? :p
july 23, 2023
Some of y'all bout to be real mad at me, but it must be said. Some of y'all is fat and ugly and unattractive but that is okay. Just be who you are, but you got to stop blaming Twitter, black men and society for all of your problems. Some of y'all going to tell me well my wig fucked up. That's okay 'cause I can go get a 1000 dollar one right now and put that shit right back on. Some of y'all are going to say well I am ugly as fuck. That's okay 'cause a bitch living lavish. My boyfriend a pro athlete. He play baseball and I am happy and you not. You see what the problem is? Is perspective. I'm happy and you on Twitter complaining about why you not getting trolls. Get your life together.